Why are there so many have tos in your life?

I am always amazed at how many people have to do so many things.  I have had very few have-tos in my life.  I had to work and I had to take care of my kids. Now that I am retired, I do only what I want to do!

I began limiting the number of have-tos in my life when I was in my twenties.  When my children were very young 3 and 5, we spent Saturday mornings cleaning.  Why was I cleaning on Saturday morning?  One reason was that was how I was brought up --every Saturday, we had to clean our rooms, change the beds and do whatever other chores were assigned to us.  The other more valid reason was that I worked all week and Saturday was the only day I had to clean.

So instead of enjoying my children on one of the two days I had with them, I badgered them to clean their rooms while I cleaned the rest of the house. 

One day, I asked myself; why am I doing this?  My answer had nothing to do with me and everything to do with my mom.  I realized I was cleaning my house for my mom, not for me.  I decided, my house did not have to be picture perfect.  I chose to enjoy my children on Saturday mornings instead of cleaning.  For the first time in my life, I felt free to do what I wanted to do on Saturday mornings.  From that point on, the kids and I did fun stuff together.