Oh my -- Taxes are another have-to!

Well, yes, I do have another 'have-to' that I forgot about.  I have to pay my taxes; but then I really don't mind because, well, my taxes help pay for the roads I drive on; they help pay for the library I use; some of the golf courses; most all our parks and recreation areas; our world class kayak river run; my pension; my dad's pension; and my children's salaries.  They also help the poor people in my neighborhood; the old people who cannot work anymore; and they help provide meals for the kids whose parents don't have the money to feed them.  Oh and then there is the police and fire departments which I really appreciate and actually needed a couple of times this year. 

Health care too -- I am soon to be on Medicare.  My friends are all on Medicare and receiving pretty decent coverage -- they even think the government is doing a good job running it. 

That leaves national defense.  Although, I think we are fighting an intelligence war with brute force and need to change the way we think about national defense; I believe my tax dollars have to help with that too.  So, there you have it -- a 'have to' no one really likes; yet I think I use enough of the services that I am happy to pay my share which is close to 14% of my income. 

Enjoy the Now!

When I go out, whether it be for a hike, walk, social hour, dinner, drinks, dancing, I am rarely the first to go home.  At parties, I am often the last to leave, even if I was the first to arrive.  On a hike, I may walk faster then some, but I still want to stop and take pictures or for a bite to eat.  If we are walking a constant 5 miles, I will walk steady, but always want a social hour afterwards.

So many times, people cannot socialize because they 'have-to" do something or another.  Some don't show up at all; some show up, but then 'have-to' go.  I, on the other hand, rarely 'have-to' go.  I don't want to rush -- so unless it is truly one of my few 'have-tos', I have enough time to enjoy what I am doing right now!  I am not in a hurry to do something else. 

So why do people have so many have-tos?  Are they self-imposed?  They have to be.  I don't think you can blame your have-tos on someone else.

Why are there so many have tos in your life?

I am always amazed at how many people have to do so many things.  I have had very few have-tos in my life.  I had to work and I had to take care of my kids. Now that I am retired, I do only what I want to do!

I began limiting the number of have-tos in my life when I was in my twenties.  When my children were very young 3 and 5, we spent Saturday mornings cleaning.  Why was I cleaning on Saturday morning?  One reason was that was how I was brought up --every Saturday, we had to clean our rooms, change the beds and do whatever other chores were assigned to us.  The other more valid reason was that I worked all week and Saturday was the only day I had to clean.

So instead of enjoying my children on one of the two days I had with them, I badgered them to clean their rooms while I cleaned the rest of the house. 

One day, I asked myself; why am I doing this?  My answer had nothing to do with me and everything to do with my mom.  I realized I was cleaning my house for my mom, not for me.  I decided, my house did not have to be picture perfect.  I chose to enjoy my children on Saturday mornings instead of cleaning.  For the first time in my life, I felt free to do what I wanted to do on Saturday mornings.  From that point on, the kids and I did fun stuff together.